Author – Muhammad Furqan Falahi
Bismillah Hir Rahman Nir Rahim
It is in human nature to want to share love and to do so in different ways. One of the well-known and popular methods is hosting and feeding someone, which has been practiced for centuries. Sometimes a banquet is held in a special background and sometimes a regular meal is organized on the arrival of a guest. In the Holy Qur’an, the arrival of the angels to Hazrat Ibrahim (AS) and the serving of food by Hazrat Ibrahim (AS) to them is specifically mentioned, which shows that in this period, the arrangement of food when strangers came to the house. He was considered a part of society.
Gradually, these invitations to eat and feed and then their purposes changed, from a child’s Bismillah Khwani or circumcision food to someone’s death, everyone made their own rules and regulations. There are, even the dishes change with the change of regions and they are arranged with great care.
Had the opportunity to participate in different types of invitations, agreed to go to one invitation and there is a possibility of going to another invitation.
- Firstly, these types of feasts are usually held at homes instead of function halls etc. Space is small and people are many, in which case the greatest comfort for the host is to have the guests finish their meal and leave as soon as possible or sit in the designated waiting area, so that other people can be seated. can eat It is very unwise for the guests to engage in idle conversation during the meal and then make other people late for their meal.
- It is the habit of people who have their own shops or businesses to leave their shops and arrive at dawa quite late in the night. It also causes confusion and inconvenience for the host who also has to relax, pack up the utensils, dishes, sheets etc. after all the guests have left which takes more time. Therefore, it is advisable to either leave the shop, etc. early, or come and eat first, or inform the host beforehand that we will be late, or excuse yourself from attending.
- Some people have this disease that they want to sit on the table with a certain friend, relative in any feast. Even if they arrive at the feast on time, they sit and wait for their partner to eat after their arrival. It is anti-civilization and it has the equipment of kuft for the host. The desire and effort of the host is that the guests finish eating as soon as possible, but these gentlemen are wasting their own time without any reasonable reason and also make the host suffer. Yes, if the host himself says to stop for a while and sit with so-and-so sir, then there is no problem.
- One of the defects that can be seen on the table during feasts is that some friends start serving food on the table very generously, apart from their own plate, they forcefully pour curry etc. on the plates of the neighboring people. There are two disadvantages in this, one is that the guest is only invited by the host to eat and not to feed others, so he should only take food as much as he needs. Another disadvantage is that the host has an idea of how many guests are left and how much food is left, he arranges the food accordingly. But putting food on others’ plates like this often leads to people skipping meals and ultimately wastes food and can cause inconvenience to the host.
- Dastar is the worst condition in the food of dawat etc., the dastar, which is laid cleanly in the first time, after two to three sittings, presents a clean kitchen scene, with spots of curry, traces of bone fragments left on it. are The simple and polite solution is to seat the guests first, then lay the table in their presence, place their plate etc. in front of each person, then place an extra plate between two or four people and love It should be told in a full manner that the bones and waste etc. should be put in this plate. In this way, not a single dastar will be damaged and the women of the house will not have trouble washing such a dastar.
- A bad habit observed during feasts is that some people are seen every now and then shouting for meat in veiled words or using specific terms, a situation that is very annoying to the host. If he spends the curry or the entire meal on only a few people, how will he make a feast for the rest of the guests? Therefore, one should thank Allah and thank the host while being satisfied with what one gets.
- Some feasts cause more anxiety and stress than joy, and that’s because of what to give as a gift. It is a strange custom that if you want to go to a feast, you must give some gift or else what will people say. Sometimes people put some cash in an envelope and give it but there is also a feeling of regret that what people will say if they give only hundred rupees. Sometimes it was also seen that people did not participate in the feast just because they were afraid that there was no room to give gifts, then it was also seen that people took loans to give gifts. In other words, in our society, we have given dawat, which was a reason to water the withering tree of love, to these other people It has been bound by the ropes of necessary ritual and tradition. Now, if someone cannot attend the feast just because of this reason, a worm of suspicion is born in the human mind that we had given the feast but so-and-so did not come, and if someone Even if he leaves but does not give a gift, the problem is solved very cheaply even if he gives a moderate kind of gift. In such a case, it is better that if a gift is to be given, then the host should be asked once that our capacity is so much and we want to give something of such value as a gift, you tell us what is appropriate to give. If he is happy to tell, then the same thing should be given; Or so much money should be donated to help with their expenses.
- In feasts (be it at home or in function halls etc.) a major problem is nakedness, grown boys go casually to the ladies’ corner to have fun, some married friends even go for a walk after the meal. So they are seen strolling in the women’s section. This is completely against Marwat, against literature and against Shariat. In this regard, the host himself should arrange that there is a complete system of veiling in the women’s section, and some women should be appointed to not allow any adult boy or any man to enter the women’s section and If someone comes, he should be shown the way back in a polite manner.
- A new trend has started in connection with feasts, that the food of the feast is made from catering, from there the servants are also appointed to distribute the food and the amount is settled on account. By doing it in this way, the feast is done anyway, but such food does not have the spice of intimacy, the taste of love and the sweetness of connection. If the women of the house are willing and ready and it is necessary to invite, then with their advice, invite a few people, so that the hands of the members of the house are involved in this food, instead of different types of dishes, there should be one food; So that heart-to-heart relationship is strong and the purpose of dawa is fulfilled, that is to strengthen relationship and kinship.
- Some people have a little more passion to invite their relatives, this is apparently a good thing and it should be, but they get so much influenced by their passion that they organize a feast by taking a loan. This is not a good thing at all. One should give dawat with good intention while staying within the scope of the facility that Allah has given, not to make a grand dawat by taking a loan and then later turn off the phone to avoid the demands of the borrowers. go
- A common mistake in invitations that is made by the well-to-do is that where the host has invited only you, you also arrive with your son Arjmand or daughter Nik Akhtar. An elder came down with his servant. Think about where the food for these extra parasites will come from among the number of people the host will have prepared food for? Either you take permission in advance that one more Sahab will stay with me, or you arrange for the food of your Sahab, or ask them to arrange for your food so that someone else has to face the sabki. Don’t have to.
- The mistake of some hosts is that they give a dawa and then they go to get some things during the dawa, go for a sip of tea or smoke a cigarette with a certain guest and so on. The guests are not happy. All issues and responsibilities should be decided in advance, who will bring goods from outside, who will go out if necessary, who will stay to welcome guests; So that there is no disorder. In the same way, when a feast is organized in one’s home, it happens that the host, in the joy of the successful completion of the feast, goes out to chat with his friends and drink tea, sometimes this is cruel. That the women of the house are ordered to make ten to fifteen cups of tea and send them out. Instead, it should be done to see off all the guests and schedule a meeting with the friends tomorrow and work together with the family at home.
These are some things that have been seen from time to time in our society regarding invitations. The real message is that we should keep Islamic teachings in mind even on the occasion of our happiness. Food is not the purpose of life at all, but the purpose is a support in life; Therefore, the manners should be learned, hosting is an important job, its methods should be known, food gatherings, feasts should be made easy and purposeful so that every guest who comes there will bring a bouquet decorated with his happiness and make the host’s house beautiful. Do it, that there is greater happiness in giving happiness than in receiving happiness.